That's me, I'm Fighting Endometriosis, Join Me?

Day after day, I read your stories. Your pleas for someone in the medical community to simply listen, not treat you like you are insane. Pleas for better awareness, any awareness for the disease that has completely changed your life. Pleas for one day of pain relief, to just feel "normal" (whatever that is) for just a day to replenish your faith in yourself, in life. Pleas for someone to simply understand that handing them that gallon of milk is rather impossible because your spoons are gone. Pleas for support, for a loving shoulder to cry on, then a strong hand and heart to lift you back up and help you find your way.

Oddly, your stories, are my story. I don't wear yellow, and endo fighting shirts, or awareness car decals for just you, I wear them for me. A fact that jumps out at me now and then, kinda sneaks up and bites me in the bum. It reminds me, "Hey, you are not just supporting these ladies you love and feel so much for, you wear this for YOU. YOU have this same disease, this fight is YOUR fight,too."

Why do I need to be reminded of this? Because my entire life I have worn this color for that person, and raised money for this person, to help with their fight against cancer or anything else they need help with. For the first time, I'm not just wearing a t-shirt that says "Endo Warrior" "End Endo Pain, We need a Cure" or "Powerful Endo Women" or "Fight Like A Girl Against Endometriosis", for someone else, I'm wearing them for ME. Because in my body hides this disease. It is my life that has changed, it is me that is fighting for a day without pain, a day to be listened to by the medical community and it is me that is looking for support from my fellow Endo Sisters and hoping they can lift me up when I can't seem to find my fighting spirit alone.

A group of women, coming together, working together, lifting each other up, regardless of political, religious, tax bracket differences. They are truly there for each other. Supporting, loving, guiding, answering funny questions with "Oh, wow my body does that too!" and many "TMI" posts with pictures. These ladies have truly joined together to fight this disease, we even have a few Dr's that will freely answer questions posted by members, how awesome is that of him? Dr. Ken Sinervo
has even answered me more than once, and to me, that is amazing. Me, there is that word again. Because as I talk about these amazing women helping each other, I am part of that group. Sending out what we call "Yellow Mail" to each other just to cheer each other up, in hopes it reaches a sister on a day she needs a lil extra love. I am part of that group that helps each other, and I even post TMI posts!

Mother,daughter,sister,friend, and now, this is me, Endometriosis Warrior. I am fighting this disease, it may change my life, but I'm fighting to keep as much the same as possible. Just like cancer, sexual abuse, raising an autistic child while being a bit autistic myself, this will only  make me stronger.

My name is Lynda and I am an Endo Warrior.

My Endo sisters, what a difference you have made in my life. I love each and everyone of you!

FIND A CURE,NO MORE PAIN!

Dear Endo

Dear Endometriosis,

You have been in my body since I was a young girl. You kept me from going to school some days out of the month. Sometimes I could not hide the pain, or the paleness of my skin due to being ill because of you. There were times I had to force myself to play through pain for softball, because I refused to give up and miss a game. Every young girl dreads her period, but me, I didn't just dread the cramps or the icky feeling. I was terrified I was weak because other girls could go to school while on their periods, but I was curled up in bed like a baby crying applying heat and taking pain meds. I was not weak, but stronger than I had ever imagined. I  didn't know you then, I knew what you felt like, I knew what you were doing to me, but I didn't know you were a coward that hid in my body and masked yourself as my period. I didn't know the Dr was wrong when she said it was "just a bad period" and I needed to "start finding a way to deal with the pain."

I didn't know you were the reason I never became pregnant while not on birth control, or you were the reason I could not carry a baby past 14 weeks when I did become pregnant. Lucky for me, I ended up pregnant with a baby girl that told you to kiss her butt she was going to be born into this world, because she was and is a fighter.

You have not won, you know? You may have temporarily halted my ability to physically be the awesome Mom I have always been, or halted my plans to be in a 5k run for Autism, and you may have kept me from a trip to see family in London. BUT, that is all temporary. You didn't stop me, you couldn't stop me from showing my children love, teaching them through hugs and words, you actually helped me make them stronger, more compassionate young souls. You didn't stop me from running, you just put it on hold for now, you didn't stop me from visiting family, it is just put off a little longer. You didn't win.

Today you may have had me close to breaking, but I didn't break did I? Sure, I became frustrated with the constant vomiting, cramps that felt like child labor, headache, pain in my body that feels like someone has zip tied all my organs together and are twisting them for their pleasure. BUT  I didn't break. I am still here, of sound mind, breathing through the pain, nursing my body and letting it rest. Because you may have stopped me from doing the laundry, or stopped me from driving to the store, but you didn't stop me from laughing, from enjoying a day with my children, or from chatting with my Endo sisters. You didn't stop me, and you never will. You can throw everything you have at this girl, and I promise you, I will throw it back at you full force. I will laugh, I will sing, I will smile, and even dance (however uncoordinated it may be) and I will LIVE, because I will FIGHT.

Anything you prevent me from doing is only temporary, because no one, and nothing stops me from doing anything.

I will take back my physical abilities, I will take back my body, and I will never give you my heart to break or my spirit to tarnish. I have you, you don't have me. Remember that, I have an army of support, awesome pain medications, and an unlimited supply of fight. Bring it, I will win, every damn time.

Love,
Girl who has been fighting you for 24 years

To all my endo sisters.. FIGHT and fight this dreaded disease with everything you have. If you run out of spoons I will share any I have!

My Angel

Today Scott and I will head to Coweta to bid our Morgan farewell from this life to the next. Everyone has been sharing their stories about her on FB and it has been so touching to read them all. So here I will share ours.

Around 3 am, the night before one of our OSU games, someone very dear to me passed away. I learned that Lizzy, one of my mother figures had lost her battle with cancer. To say my world was crushed, would be an understatement. I decided to attend the tailgate and game with the crew, I needed a distraction from what had just taken place. I cried at the tailgate, I cried during the first part of the game. I looked down and noticed a young girl, her mother and perhaps a little sister, sitting a few rows down from us. They were all wearing purple shirts with yellow text "Morgan's fight = My fight". I kept looking and it was obvious from the young lady's fight was against cancer. I kept telling Scott I had to go talk to her, something was pushing me to go to her and introduce myself. At half time, I did just that. I explained that I had just lost my mother figure to cancer, that seeing her there just felt like a push to meet her. We talked, her mother Marva was so kind and spoke to me as well. That was it, I was in love with these lady's, their strength their faith, it was like nothing I've known before. they gave me two bracelets, one from Morgan's wrist the other from Marva's wrist. Purple and Yellow with the t shirt slogan on it, and the other black with orange text "Pokes praying for Morgan." That day, Morgan's Fight became my fight as well. We continued to see each other at the games, then added each other on fb, then swapped numbers so we could text. Morgan adored Tracy Moore and it was awesome to cheer with her when he scored a td, we would all scream GO TRACY!

When Morgan was to be crowned for Prom Queen, my family and I made the trip to see her at the football field in Coweta. I was happy to see her mother, and little sister Bailey there as well. Cyan was meeting Morgan for the first time, and she loved her. We got there early as could be, I wanted on the 50 yard line to see her up front. When I found her, she was so excited, and very shocked we came out. She kept thanking me, I told her "Like I'd miss this!" As you can see she posed for a picture with Cyan in her beautiful gown. We enjoyed the game, and the halftime show was amazing. Those kids in Coweta sure put on a show with the band! Then, came time to crown the Queen, and there they placed a beautiful crown on a young lady that was already a Queen of hearts. Cyan made her a sculpture animal out of her hot dog wrapper, yes, hot dog wrapper, and when she gave it to Morgan she was overjoyed!

Each time Morgan was diagnosed with cancer again, after the first meeting, she would make sure to tell me in person so I didn't "have to read it on fb" as she said. I would start to cry and hug her and she would hug me and say "Hey, don't worry, I am not worried, God's got this!" See that was and is Morgan's legacy. that is how she touched so many lives, that is how she became my Angel, an saving grace. Her heart was always open, her soul that of years much older that she. Her smile, through everything, was amazing. Her mother, Marva, I hope I can live up to her legacy as a mother myself.  The love was always beaming from her mother to her. It was so obvious anyone could see how strong it was, and why this young lady was the way she was, has a lot to do with that amazing mother.

Morgan's reach was beyond jus those of us that were blessed to know her in person. Her story reached others through news, through witness and through talking. I remember seeing a woman wearing one of Morgan's shirts in Target. I walked up to her and showed her my bracelets. She as one of Morgan's nurses.

Feb 25, 2013, Morgan was able to touch other lives. Our dear friend Tessa was diagnosed with cancer, one of our OSU crew members. Her and her husband have been in Houston every since, fighting this. I wanted to help them, and I talked to Morgan and she told me a few things to say to help Tessa and Clay in their fight. I told them the story of meeting Morgan at the game. I told them her story, and how she was once again fighting cancer, and she kept her smile, and her faith. They are of a religious background, so this helped them. Clay blogs about Tessa's fight often to keep us all informed. One night, after I shared Morgan's story with them, he was having horrible pains, gallbladder issues, and he was texting Tessa as she was in the hospital and he at the condo. She was very worried about him, and he didn't know what to say to reassure her. Then he said "I thought of the story Lynda sent us about Morgan, a young lady fighting cancer and I simply text back "God's got this."

See Morgan's reach was beyond what even she knew I think! So today, we are celebrating the beautiful life Morgan led, almost 20 years of inspiring, fighting, and making the rest of us love and laugh, not mourning the one day she passed away.

In honor of Morgan, I ask that any of you willing make a donate, however small in Morgan's name to the Oklahoma Make A Wish foundation.

Thank you
and
Morgan girl, I love you, thank you for everything!!!!